And just like that, I know my dreams are shattered.

“Fairytales don’t happen overnight. Be patient.”

“Do whatever that makes you happy, ‘cause at the end, who’s there? You.”

I think I have a plan now, but I don’t know if it will work. I am not exactly a risk taker, neither do I have my future planned. I feel so stressed. What if this plan doesn’t work? I’m only at the starting of Part A of my plan, and my life will officially start at Part C; what if I don’t get accepted at Part C? What if it fails? Am I ready to commit myself totally to this? Should I completely eliminate Part B and not take a month off ‘life’ to travel Europe or USA, and go straight into Part C? Why am I so unsure about what I want to do? Why is it suddenly so difficult to choose between passion and money? Why am I letting something that happened set me back from what I had initially planned?

I feel like going to a palm reader or a fortune teller of any sort to have my future told just so I know what’s in store for me and whether I’m on the right track of life. I hate feeling so unsure, so uncertain of what will I be in 10 years down the road. I hate how I’m so afraid at failing and facing rejection in life.

I’m becoming really skeptical, and I don’t know if it’s good or not.

I really think I need help with this, but I don’t think there’s anyone who can truly understand what I am facing.

Whatever happened to the daredevil in me?